39 and 40... "It must have been love... but it's OVER Now! ..

R

Remember when you were sure you were in love .. within a week of the meeting?  Adrenaline levels rising...  the thrill off the potential date ...  pounding heart just being near the one of your choice...  laughing at ridiculous jokes ... deciding 'beards' were just what you liked on your beau ... not worrying that their dress mode was not daggy - just eclectic ...  beyond caring that their place was a dump ... finding it amusing that they were always late, didn't pay their way ...  called you 'honey bum' or some ludicrous nick name?  

Then you wake up.

All it takes is a moment.  They do something which changes your whole perspective in an instant and cannot be retrieved.  

There is no way you can look at that man as you did.  Impossible. He is an idiot.

The rose coloured glasses come off.  They are dumped.

It was NOT love.

It was infatuation.

I enjoyed my walks over the days.

I did have some lovely moments...   It did cause me SOME pain which I kindly over looked.  I thought I was in love with it.

I wasn't.

It was just infatuation.

And it's over now. 

It just disappeared.

I have been super busy with things and people I truly DO love and my 6 month plan disappeared as quickly as the guy who took me to the wrong wedding on our first date.

So you will not have to suffer this blog idea which was ridiculous to begin with.  

And next time I get a scathingly brilliant idea - I promise to keep it to myself!!

37 and 38 .... A plague Upon You!! ... Friday

As my eyes opened this morning the brain was already whirring with negative thoughts. 

I was really angry.

This walking gig is stupid... what's the point?  I cannot visually SEE any benefit...  there are better things to do in life..

This went on for a while.

Unfortunately, I have not reached the point where I can easily give up quite yet.  It doesn't feel too far away, but at the moment guilt and failure are forcing me forward.

To rid myself of a day of excuses, I donned the shoes, patted the dog and took off.

Dogless.

She cost us $500 yesterday to be told she had a sprained joint and would need to rest after a cortisone injection.

Wish I had been given one.

Over the hills and down to the beach ... 

Breezing happily along Florida Rd ... right into a SWARM of tiny flying fruit fly type insects! What were they??  I looked like a Dutch Windmill on top speed trying to navigate my way through them.  In my mouth, eyes ...  

Spluttering, I noticed two women and their dogs navigate their way to the other side of the road to avoid the spectacle.

I was still spitting the odd bug from my mouth when hitting the pool stairs.

Stairs?

Yep..  I did the stairs.  Yay!!  A little unfortunate they these steps seem to be some training ground for the fit and agile.. but I made it.  Messily. But done nonetheless.

Trotted FAST back along Florida and over the hill to home.

So. Done now. Recovered while chatting to a friend on the phone (who happened to be lying in bed reading) ... 

On with the Day. 

Oh didn't walk yesterday due to numerous trips to the vet, gardening and lack of will.

36... How Lame... Wednesday

You really have to plan these walks some days...  I find a miriad of activities I could fill my time with.  Sewing, gardening, photo sorting, fixing stuff, clearing junk...  

Guess we all can.

Since I rose early I jump started all the 'have to do' things so I could enjoy the 'want to do things and surprisingly I have achieved much today.

By 2pm I had the runners on for the 'big' walk but found, when I harnessed up The Dog - she really WAS limping.  She could put no weight on her front paw. 

This threw me into a spin.  As much as I complain, I do like the companionship and 'reason' for walking.

I would have to go alone.

An exerciser.

NOT a dog walker.

On went the sunnies & I took off at a fast pace and managed to keep it up the whole way, which is something I cannot achieve whilst dragging The Dog.  I ploughed up Pacific rd, round Florida all the way around to Whale Beach!  

How absolutely scrumptious was the wind blowing the sweat off at NOrma Rd!!

I headed onwards and upwards over Surf road and all the way back along the main road to home.  75mins.

Not too painful either.  Can't work out why my hip DIDN't hurt today.

My brain was busy and I was on a mission but I did miss my silent companion...  

34 and 35.... This Park Life ... Tuesday

I must confess to never having visited Centennial Park before a quick stop there a month ago.  I was so enamoured by the scale of such a place in the centre of our city that plans were made to meet up with The Cousins from interstate and My Fav Aunt.  Which is exactly what we did today.

The Botanical Gardens are truly peaceful, with its own beauty - but the energy of Centennial Park is what draws me in.  

Horses plodding, cyclists, walkers, talkers, skateboards, rick shaws, 4 seater bicycles, sleepers, picnic-ers, lakes, geese, ibis, water fowl ... just too gorgeous.

So...  Did I walk today?  Technically - NO.  

But I did play chasings...  ride a Razor Scooter all the way to the loo ... which just happened to be MILES away.  Well, not really - but a bloody long way and I rode right in through the door! Ha.  Do you know what was wonderful too?  No one looked sideways at the 50yr old on the scooter!!   All forms of exercise are tolerated here. 

I did a fair amount of exercise today, but driving home I felt maybe I should add to it by heading off on a night walk.  

But the rain began and talk of a thunderstorm had me running for cover as my greatest fear is being turned to a cinder due to lightening.

So no.  No walk today.

Or yesterday for that matter as I seemed to have lost time and space after the 5hr trip home from Mudgee.

But hey ... the spirit is still willing and I have no other plans for tomorrow, so will try for a large walk around Whale Beach and Palmy.

The Husband mentioned The Dog was limping today.  Sigh.  She is such a dud.

"Rocky Mountain H- iiiiggghhh!" .. Day 33

While having a leisurely luncheon at a local Mudgee Winery, The Brother-In-Law decided that the day would be topped off by us returning to the house, packing food, and hiking to the top of Mt Frome.   The Husband found this a brilliant idea, the Sister-In-Law seemed resigned to the plan and inwardly I panicked.

How high was it?  How long would it take? How fast would they go? 

My panic was not really about not achieving the task - more about holding everyone up - and of course that 'messy exerciser' complex  i have. 

We four wheel drived  accross someone's property and i was SO grateful to see the walking sticks the Brother-In-Law had packed.  We certainly needed them!!

The trek up was hard.... steep...  burr ridden ...  rocky ... slippery ... sweatty... laughy... chatty ...  cow pooey...  and really - only 45mins!! The thermos was brought out along with sandwiches and hot cross buns - all of which I did not eat as I felt ill from the climb!!  ha.  BUT ... I didn't hold anyone up.

The descent was an amusing race against the sunset as we had no wish for broken ankles.. which was high on the probability scale since all rocks were hidden under long grass.

Honestly I  was cranky (hence THAT photo) as I reached the top! But once the adrenalin settled, and we laughed our way won I was so glad Mr Kokoda-Trail-Brother-In Law dragged me up one of the mountains in the area.

Too Fun .... especially the four wheel drive out of the paddock and hitting that 'missing' rock...

Think it was just past the cows...

Day 32... SATURDAY ..To market, to market.. to buy a fat pig...

The Reles and The Husband and I trundled through the Sydney crowds in Mudgee this morning weaving our way to various fresh food tables at the Buyers' Markets.    I met up with two  Sydney families in the grounds of the church.   Yum choice of relishes, jams, cheese, and Heritage Seeds to take home to create our own little self sustaining vege patch.

The boys left to golf the afternoon away while we kept walking and looking and looking and walking... heading home early arvo to read papers and eat Chili Olives.

It is hot.  I have no intention of walking today and made this decision guilt free.  

BUT - I do have my resistance bands with me and intend to get the Sister In Law involved!!  

Laughter is a great medicine.

As is a weekend away.

Day 31... What a GOOOOOOOD Friday...

...  Driving 4hours with a non-chatty partner is like a gift of 'time'.   I was able to bury my head in a fab book without fear of offence.   Only lifting it upon hearing the amazing birdsong as we headed up Kurrajong Hill - never ceases to delight me.

The Reles greeted us with cuppa and chat and after settling in... and asking about the best one hour walking route... this evening at 6pm off I went AND  The Husband joined me!!

We kept a great pace and went a long way - past suburbia and wonderfully winding down roads beside horse poo ( THEY don't pick up their poop in bags),  bleating baby sheep, the odd Bull answering some old cow,  miriad of mozzies,  fences made from old railway sleepers,  dams,  purple weedy flowers,  old caravans,  new estates, old homes,  golf course .... 

AND

NO DOG WALKERS OR EXERCISERS!! 

It was lovely to walk in silence through this new vista with a man who has no need to ruin it all with words. x

Day 30... Go WEST!!

Another day surrendered to illness.

Having slept away most of this day I woke feeling hopeful for tomorrow.

We are off to Mudgee for the Easter Break and I have packed the runners!!  The Dog wont be accompanying me; hence I will look like an 'exerciser' rather than a 'dog walker' .. and since I will be in a town filled with strangers - who cares!!!

Interestingly enough - I am actually looking forward to sweating and hills.

Who'd have thought??

Day 29 ... Disaster

vomiting

gastro

sweating

pain

 

gazumps exercise

Wait... Wait ... WEIGHT!! Day 27 and 28

I just realised today is day 28!!!  One month since beginning this blog.  

What a shame it isn't going to be of earth shattering significance.

Some days get a little busier than others and require a little adjusting of the original plan.  There has been illness with Loved Ones and meetings with Fav Reles, broken fridges, waiting for repairmen... blah blah blah ... 

Insignificant, but activities which take precedence over the exercise regime .. or COULD!!  But they didn't!!  YAY!

Yesterday was filled to the brim so I ploughed on with the Resistance Bands that evening and seem to be getting some uncoodinated benefit from them.

Today's rain has deterred me from venturing onto the road as I have no wish to re live the early 'wet weather walk'.  

Since my new PREVENTION Mag had a timely arrival I managed 40mins of their fab weight exercises and a few 'band' ones.

I don't have an anxiety about not walking whilst I am at least doing SOMETHING.

What have I learnt by exercising for a month??  

#  Some days you just have to DO it.

#  I am fitter than the dog.

#  I have drive and determination - at least for 28 days.

#  I will never be able to do a Forest Gump and walk across the country.

#  Not to wear my white bra.

#  Pain doesn't stop you ... just annoys you.

#  I walk slower than most people but faster than some!

#  There is magic to be seen and heard once you are out there.

#  You DO feel better afterwards.

#  It is easier to eat less than to walk off something of same calorific value.

#  Keeping a blog is a great motivation to do SOMETHING ... even if you are talking to yourself.

# My husband has a great sense of 'rescue'.

#  Not to look in the mirror... just enjoy how you 'feel'.

Day 25 and 26... A Little Bit Of Support...

Yesterday seemed to whizz by in a flurry of 'must do' around the home necessities & odds & ends I just WANT to do... so the day disappeared quickly amid pruning shrubs, scrubbing bathrooms, washing kitchen floor & juggling food from a disfunctioning fridge.  The Granddaughter and Daughter arrived so .... there was a little 'dancing' to under 3yr old tunes... when they left, if was time for the Husband and I to head off to the movies.  So ... at some late hour I picked up the Resistance Elastic and for half an hour struggled to avoid my elbows being snapped and broken when doing said exercises.  It does require some practice and fine tuning.

This morning I was woken early by the 'bipping' alarm of the malfunctioning fridge so resigned myself to no sleep in.  Since I was skulking around the house in the early hours I could only dress for the walk in whatever was downstairs, so as not to disturb The Sleeping Husband.

Hence ... I had to wear the 'bad' bra.  

My 'supportive' sensible bras were soaking in the wash and upon a rummage, I found a little white one I wear when movie watching... NOT moving.  i didn't think a great deal about it, just plonked it on under the black singlet, harnessed up The Dog and off I went.

Decided on a totally UPHILL venture this morn as it seemed coolish ... not so.

By the time I had made my way up Pacific and towards Bynya, I was absolutely dripping wet.  My lower back was wet into my shorts! 

And the bra??  Good Grief.

The straps on this particular one are elasticised and therefore allow a 'bounce".

I actually had to alter my walking style on some parts of the trek & I can tell you - downhill was VERY TRICKY at a fast past.  Thank goodness I didn't meet TOO many people.  When I did, I was stop and pat The Dog til they past.

75mins later, dripping wet and dragging The Dog through the gate... I found The Husband cooking eggs and bacon on the barby, papers on the table and the jug boiled for the cuppa.

Ahh  ... THAT's support. x

 

Day 24... It Seemed A Good Idea At The Time...

My walk today encompasses a few things I have previously mentioned... 

# When an idea pops into my head, I have to fulfil it no matter what.  eg.. Since it was Friday & therefore 'takeaway' night - I don't have to cook.  This frees up a fair bit of time. Also The Hubby is engrossed in the footy & I am hardly likely to be missed. So my scathingly brilliant idea was to WALK to Avalon to collect a DVD & walk home.  Hubby was a little shocked and concerned about my ability to manage this; lectured me on 'stretching', requested I call him on my arrival at the video store so he could come and collect me, told me I was doing well and looking trimmer. (He Lied I Think).

# I had to resort to the original Army SHorts of walk No 1.  SHock and Horror when I put them on and they were TIGHT!!!  How could they be???  And don't give me any drivel about 'building up muscle" ..  then I remembered they had been put through the dryer and no doubt, being cotton, had tightened up a little.  Surely.....  Hopefully.

#  I was also walking into the holiday traffic once more with car loads of holidayers, weekenders, hoons, buses and no pathways.  

I took off at 6pm and was amazingly sprightly.  Happy thoughts and no near misses, all the way in to Avalon.  I went at a steady fast pace, but just before arriving at the video store quite a severe pain set up in the left hip area of my original walks.  Bugger.  I think this had been exacerbated by the jumping dancing of the parents night from Kindy.

Interestingly, the shorts were not 'skritching' as in theie original walk. Mmmmm.

Quickly choosing a movie, grabbing the dog I headed homeward bound.

Steady pain, lower back ache ... but otherwise happy to be walking amongst young people on skateboards, couples dressed for dinner, hoons hooning ...  until passing Careel Bay.

Oh. It all hurt a little too much.  I refused to slow down.  The Dog DID slow down to a 'drag' once more.  Darkness had descended and I was heading for the uphill bit past the mud flats ...  when ... 'toot'  'toot' ...  THE HUSBAND ONCE AGAIN CAME TO THE RESCUE!!!!

yay.  1hr 40mins.

I was so happy... I even listened to his lecture about stretching!!

What a Man. xx

Day 22 and 23... A Little Bit of Resistence...

	Resistance Elastics are so named because they are able to be resisted.
	Dumb Bells are also appropriately named. resistance   • noun 1 the action of resisting. 2 (also resistance movement)  3 the impeding effect exerted by one material thing on another. 4 the ability not to be affected by something

Day 21 ... Mind Games

Had a busy day, then unthinkingly, when all left ... I automatically put on the shorts and shoes!!

Found that a little incredible.

So off I went - I gave The Dog another chance - and headed up hill.

My mind wandered today ... free to roam where ever ... so it ducked into crevasses which hadn't been poked into for quite a while.

I thought of my brother ... gone ten years now, of my mother and my sister ... lost to me for some time.

I thought of friends from many years gone by.  Some I should track down and some who have let me go...
 I thought of The Son and his overseas trip with His Lady...  Of The Husband's aging parents and the connections with my children ...

Peaceful meanderings ...  all over the place.

Funny how the brain does that.  

Day 20 ... Trading In the Dog

Honest to goodness - the dog has to go!!  What a pathetic effort she puts in day after day after day. 

The Husband has great sympathy for her "ooohhh, it's very humid."  or "Oooh, it's such a hot day." or "She's black!"

Do White dogs go faster??

I swear... I will trade her in for a greyhound.

I must admit she does perform better in the cool early hours.  But I want choice of when to walk.  I mean, really, this is the only thing I do for myself WHEN I want to!!  All those years of fitting things in around family, dinner, school, work...

I refuse to accommodate THE DOG!

I went for a great walk today up over the hills, past the beach, round the golf course and then felt SO sorry for the dog I was toting behind me, I walked the rest of the way home IN Pittwater so she could cool down.

If she bumps into any little doggy friends I wonder if she tells them about the "drag" she went on today.

Day 18 and 19.... Sunday

I had a problem getting  up and at it yesterday.  It's not that I didn't want to walk - I just didn't wish to change into walking gear from my 'house' clothes.

I was right in the mood to potter, tidy, cleanup ... but not to take my hair out of the high pony tail or wear anything respectable.  

So I didn't.

By the afternoon I had achieved all the chores and had to face reality.  There was nothing truly stopping me ... THEN I read 'Prevention' magazine.  What a handy little gem of a mag when wanting to know more about fitness and health.

In it I learnt that I don't necessarily HAVE to walk each day to achieve optimum fitness - I could do weights or resistance exercises.  Perfect.

I threw on the sunnies and a bit of lippy, changed clothes, and zoomed off to K Mart where I bought myself some dumbells and a resistence elastic thingy.

Just buying them made me feel fitter.  Certainly carrying them to the car did!

I came home and proudly showed them to The Husband, phoned The Daughter and told her - she laughed.

Then I read the bumph on the pack of the resistence bands.

"No responsibility is taken for any injury which may occur from using this band"....

I had visions of those Hockey Strap stories... where they flick off and blind you...

I had best keep a strong hold.

I hadn't given up on a possible evening walk, but needed the company of The Best Friend...  she was not so inclined and it was decided we would meet at Newport Beach for a healthy dinner and chat.

I took the new purchases.

So there in the darkness, sitting on the park bench, while chatting and laughing as only Good Friends can ... I hooked the rubber thingy on my feet and exercised my forearms!  Yay.  I even did a few dumbell lifts too...

I really like the idea of an alternative weight bearing exercise to do if every few days my body says 'Don't walk'...   

I even entered a competition in the Magazine to win a week at a health resort for The Husband and Myself - wouldn't THAT be fab.

Today - The Dog and I walked up hill quite early.  I returned home to read papers and helped The Husband with the lawns and gardening.   

I may not look any different ....

But I feel it.

Day 17... A day off...

Nothing to report.

Chose to have my rest day today, not Sunday, as i just felt my soul needed feeding just as much as my body.

So I spent the evening with my gorgeous Grandchildren.  Delicious.

Now for the DVD.

mmmm

Will hit the road tomorrow with a vengeance... 

Day 16 ... Up, Up and Away....

I was terrified to take off today after yesterday's walk...  I didn't relish the thought of pushing through whatever was going on there.

I was pleasantly surprised.

Since boredom is always knocking at my psyche.. I have to mix it all up a bit.  

Today I put The Little Black Dog in the car ...  I think the excitement of a ride hyped her up a little ... and we headed off to Careel Bay.  From here I headed off through Nth Avalon, past the sludgy creek behind Barrenjoey High (where a surprising amount of wildlife lives) and UP the hill past the pool... UP the hill behind houses towards the golf club ... UP the hill towards Bilgola Lookout.

What an amazingly blissful pitstop.   Divine breeze and breathtaking vista...  

It was here I listened to my body and decided against heading down into the beach area. SO, we headed back downhill and because I knew it would be a shorter walk - I practically jogged!

I think the trick for me is to drink plenty of water all day ... eat some carbohydrates and just listen to my body.

It's just that sometimes I don't like what it says.

 

Whinge... Whinge... Whinge... Day 15

I don't have a clue what happened today. I hardly wish to speak of it.
After work we had a gathering to attend but I was home at 5 ... only to collapse on the lounge and nod off until 6pm. I MADE myself get up and find the runners... all the while feeling sluggish and slow with my brain taking over completely - filled with negative thoughts.
What was the story? Yesterday's jaunt was so lovely ...
All the while, making it up the hills and around the waterfront... my body struggled .... my thoughts were worse.
"I'll cut this corner..."
"What's the point...."
"Stupid Dog...."
"My foot hurts..."
As the brain whinged and whinged I plodded on ... and THEN I passed a slow walker wearing a t-shirt which was covered in "Never, never, never give up!" Was this a sign from above?
Well - it did nothing to spur me on, I can tell you. Bloody stupid t shirt to wear as you stroll along. That is, unless a few months ago she was unable to walk at all. Then I would give her credit where credit was due.
What's the deal with people who never give up anyway?? One of those olympic skiers had two knee replacements just so she could continuing competing!!! I have no comprehension of such drive.
So onward I went - past all the beautiful people from Home & Away eating their dinners...
past the beach... who's beauty did nothing for me today.
Up the hill and homeward bound.
Sweaty and cranky... in the gate ... shoes off ... back to the lounge.

What was that all about? Did I not eat enough carbohydrates today? Who cares.
I am not happy.
Not one bit.

Dripping Wet... Day 14

AsI may have mentioned - I am not a 'tidy' walker as I take off at a fair speed and within 10 minutes I am a lather of perspiration. On the 30min mark It looks as though I have run a marathon, no matter how happy and non-exhausted I am.
It has it's benefits for when I reach hill tops looking out over Whale Beach and the breeze hits !! Instant airconditioning and I DO love that feeling.

After a day of helping out The Daughter with sick and crying children, which really wasn't a problem, I drove home virtually ANTICIPATING putting on the shoes and harnessing up The Dog.

Before, I would have collapsed on the lounge! Today, I knew a walk would put the day and into perspective.

Pity The Dog didn't feel the same.

Honestly. She was so lack lustre on the first hill and from then on I felt a constant drag on my right arm as she dawdled behind. Half way around Florida road she came to a grinding halt and after a few minutes allowed me to carry on carrying her on!
Down the stairs to the pool, along the beach... dragging along.
Out around the Surf Club at South Palmy ... past a couple being photographed in front of the Home And Away Club ... down the hill to the Boatshed.

So, thinking only of her , I removed my shoes and socks, tied them together and hit the beach in front of the golf course ... and The Dog was ecstatic. Chest deep, she waded happily, dipping her nose under every now and then.

Unfortunately I was still attached to her lead.... we both ploughed, knee deep, onwards.
I made it ALL the way home via Pittwater... Out around the homes, past Gonsalves marina ... past fish and chip eating families ... all the way along to the 'pipe' on Iluka Road. The long shorts of mine wet up to the pockets ... The Dog darting for ducks and the odd underwater attraction.
It was so, so glorious.
It was such a great idea. Thankyou Dog.

And to top it off... as I hurried on past the shops, a lady asked me if I was a jogger!!

All because I was hot and dripping wet!

Day 13 ... Speeding Up...

I took off exactly at the time parents were ferrying children to kindy, to school or heading off on shopping expeditions. A highly visible hour to go ..
I also realised it was a time many women were child free for a few hours and therefore were in their exercise gear and coupled up with friends for their walks.
However, The dog is fine company for me for now.
Once again I headed off on a familiar route up Surf Road and Bynya ... tromping along happily to find my brain was less busy than usual. I am sure there were moments of 'nothingness' which is achieved by some. Am I reaching some form of meditation state?
Once home, I realised I had cut ten minutes off my 75 min walk!! The route was EXACTLY the same - but obviously my speed has increased. How interesting!
Eleven walks ... and the speed is better. How hopeful.
So, I have decided to test this for a few days and if it remains so, then I will add another loop to the walk to get back up to the 75mins.
Woo hoo!!

Day 12 ... And then she rested...

rest ¹ (rst)n.

1. Cessation of work, exertion, or activity.

2. Peace, ease, or refreshment resulting from sleep or the cessation of an activity.

3. Sleep or quiet relaxation.

4. The repose of death: eternal rest.

5. Relief or freedom from disquiet or disturbance.

6. Mental or emotional tranquillity.

7. Termination or absence of motion.


So, since this is Sunday. This is what I did. Except for Oxford dictionary example no 4.

A quiet morning in the garden ..... showered and beautified for the Aunt's 80th ... and now home.
Drowsy from good company and not so good food ...
On the lounge with the papers ...
Rejuvenating for the week.

Hope yours was lazy too.

Day 11... A Visual Feast ...

So what did I see in my 75mins this evening?

Four rev head cars, speeding....
A wedding reception in progress....
A baby kookaburra perched on the wires....
3 cars parked illegally....
An elderly couple, heads together, laughing ....
A dog sniffing around an upturned rubbish bin....
A discarded, undelivered letter in the gutter....
4 rabbits in the parklands ....
No rabbits in the parklands ...
An no Little Black Dog for a while ....
A runner, near collapse passing me & still managing a cheery wave...
Plants I covet for my garden....
10 Asian people with long lensed cameras aimed at the sunset ....
A beautiful girl in a fabulous long black dress ....
Boys carrying cartons of beer towards the water....
Boats paddling out towards yachts...
Pittwater from a hill top....
A young couple smooching as they walked uphill...
Groups of people heading in to dinner at various eateries ...
Sunset....

Who needs television?

Day 10.. Stares and Whispers ...

A fair stream of traffic was headed northbound this afternoon..
End of week city dwellers champing to arrive at their weekenders ... parents having collected children from after school care or soccer training ... dads heading home to their families ...
And there was I ... plodding along in my sunnies and checky type golf pants, runners and My Little Black Dog, walking along the side of the road, avoiding collision with their side mirrors.

That's when the question popped into my brain.

I wonder what they are all thinking?

Do they glance over and think .. 'Nice Dog"..

Maybe a curse as they notice me just before they take a corner...
Has someone thought I have a fat arse? Or Maybe "She needs to walk!"
Sometimes I wave in response to a honked hello - did that person know me? Recognise me? Were they happily saying "Oh, there's Keren!" ?
Or was it young people who thought they would honk me .. and then laugh hysterically as I wave blindly in their direction.
I cannot see through their tinted glass.

I pondered this just for a while, as we all glance out from our cars at the passing parade of life. I have seen walkers and fleeting thoughts flick through MY brain without cementing themselves there ... "oh.. nice shorts" ... "she's skinny" ... "She walks fast" ... "OH.. wish I could run.."

It just made me curious. What were THEIR flickering thoughts?

I didn't really care.

As I made my way up above that road an walked onwards, uphill, alone with my thoughts and My Dog, I revelled in the sight of dusk settling around us and the sounds of crickets and goodnight laugh of the kookaburras. No traffic. The feel of the breeze across the water and our divine beaches. Laughter of children in their yards knowing they had two school-less days ...

I rest assured in the knowledge that My Dog and I are just a fleeting thought, whatever it may be, as drivers pass me by.

I won't take it personally.

Liar ... Liar ... Pants On Fire - Day 9

I took off early afternoon today and was feeling pretty good so headed up hill... up Pacific road RIGHT up to where a rickety set of steps took me down to Florida road.
This was an error ... I sort of 'plonked' down all the uneveness of them - about 100 - and could feel the hip getting mal adjusted...
True enough. It was. Pain set in when I headed through the Kerry Packer steps to the beach.
Strangely tho, I felt mentally happy and dragged The Dog along the beach front homewards.
As per usual my mind wandered and I recalled a story years ago of a group of women who discovered they could lose inordinant amounts of weight by eating tapeworm larvae. These of course hatched to become a tapeworm which ate every nutrient in their bodies until they achieved their desired weight loss. Take a few anti biotics - and voila!!
What is fairly amazing to me is that only women would consider this!
You hear it all the time when one falls ill, be it with appendicitus, pneumonia, gastro, or something life threatening - "Oh yes .. it was horrible - but I lost 4kg!!" ...

I trudged onwards and remembered The Daughter's question...
"Have you lost any weight yet?"
" Gee - I've only been walking a week, and besides - I am doing this for fitness, not weight loss."
"Sure Mum. Are you telling me that if you make it to the 6mth mark without losing a pound, but are much fitter... you'll be fine?"

Mmmm. I had lied.

If I make this walking gig for 6mths WITHOUT losing an ounce ... I will give up.

Then I might eat a tapeworm.

The Road To NoWhere... Day 8

Since I don't intend to walk before having to be ready for work.. there were moments through the day when tried to plan my exercise route.

The weather was bleak and I didn't wish to walk in it as the last rainy day walk was a disaster... it wasn't a welcome thought. When out of the blue a brilliant idea popped into my head!!
I would go to the gym for my 75min walk in comfort.
Why I thought this was a solid idea, I can't fathom. My last gym experience was at least 15years ago with the company phoning daily and at all hours to secure my credit card number for direct debiting. Mind you - many in the area did hand over this information with the intention of using their facilities 4 times a week. Only to find their enthusiasm wained many months before the debits did.

But. I would go on a 'one off'' ... another test of bravery. Totally out of my comfort zone.

I wish I could explain The Husband's shocked expression as I announced "I'm off to the gym". Was worth saying.

You see .. going in to FF is like going to another country for me. There is an element of the unknown with all those around you appearing experienced in protocol.
I chose to park up the top ...to duck in unseen ... but didn't know where to 'duck' !
To enter I had to pay $22. and fill in an information sheet with name, address and contactable phone number. I asked if I could have some earphones to access the tele (may as well do this walk in style) to be told they would cost $15. Nope.
I headed to the far corner where the change rooms were.
I had quickly grabbed my exercise pants, a cotton t shirt and runners on the way out of home before I changed my mind. As I put the shirt on I broke into about 7 sneezes... it was an old shirt which hadn't dried properly some years ago and smelt quite musty.
On search for a locker, it was evident you needed to 'swipe your card' - which I clearly didnt have, so I took my chances.
I left my bag in an unlocked locker trusting that since robbers would have to dress the part to enter the facilities and rob FF people - and lycra is 'de rigeur' - there would be no where to hide their haul.
I headed to the farthest corner walking machine and truly, stood in front of it for a good 4 mins ... pressing buttons trying to make it go. No one helped. So I casually sauntered down a few to see others had lights glowing. Success with the one most public.
Well - suffice to say. This gym thing is not really my gig. Lorna Jane clad types running, expressionless, to nowhere. Didn't they live in the area?? Hadn't they felt the wind in their faces and drying their sweat? It's free!! It's free! - I overcame the urge to yell at them...
I had a little fun playing with the clockwork on my machine ... gradient 2 at speed 4.5... then on the 15min mark, gradient 3 at speed 6 ... made the time go a little quicker. That and people watching.
A very largish full breasted woman leapt on the machine near me at one stage and broke into a fast run ... I admired her fitness ... but she clearly hadn't seen the "Beat The Bounce" ad by Berlei on the toilet cubicle door.

To be honest ... I DID walk very fast ... I did sweat. The only hint of the great outdoors I got was when the overhead airconditioning leaked on me..
I gave up on the 45minute mark. I just couldnt take it anymore.

I changed back into my 'civvies' and went past the lift, packed with FF devotees, out in to the car park and headed home.

I had burned 250 calories according to the machine. And my walk had cost 50c per minute.

At least I know they won't be calling me any time soon to join up....

I gave them a fake phone number.

Time Management ... Day 7

When I woke this morning ... too early .. I was hoping for a sleep in ... my brain began whirring. I just wish it would be blank now and again. Is it possible?? Apparently. When a male is asked 'What are you thinking?" the answer is invariably "nothing". When pushed on the answer .. some males have explained that they just "zone out. Have no thoughts. Just nothing." ... really?

Should I walk in the morning or should I begin the housework? Maybe if I do work first I could walk midway through the day? Do I hurt too much to walk locally? What's the weather? Is it going to be hot? Is it Humid? Will I be required to babysit tonight? Then I'd best prepare dinner .... whats for dinner? Do I have clean socks? Should I put the washing on? ...

As much as everyone believes this walking gig is only for a 75min part of the day - it takes up an inordinantl and ridiculous amount of planning for me to fit it in. If I walk early on then that means I have to shower and wash my hair on the return since I should at least look half respectible and smell somewhat decent for the rest of the day .. I am a no frills kind of girl and HATE washing my hair daily. If I walk at night, this can go amiss if meetings on, dinners late or weather changes.

What about friends?? Where do they slot in amongst the daily necessities?

So while the a large part of my brain was busy ... A distant part of it had decided to walk early. So as I put on the shorts, runners, ate the banana and tied the hair up ... my body was ready to go. The mind was willing. Yay!! The body was a little sluggish.

But, I am proud to say I listened to my body today and decided against pushing it up all the local hills so I bundled The Little Black Dog into the car and headed out to Bayview.

From 7.30 - 8.40 we tramped along the mangrove and waterfront to the Pasadena and back. Passing early wanderers, avid joggers, elderly couples and a myriad of dog walkers. My brain was still busy - I have yet to achieve the peaceful 'nothingness' some acquire. Meditation is NOT my forte.

I love hearing the snippets of conversation as people pass me by ... even the cyclists chatting as they whizz past...

We were home by 9am.

The dog promptly slept. And although my exercise for the day has been achieved... I am yet to feel the joy.

A Sight For Sore Eyes .... Day 6

I awoke at 5.30am this morning with a very sore eye and an idea.
I loathe getting an idea as I have a compulsion to act on it or be talked out of it. Since The Husband had left for work and therefore could not talk sense to me ... I had to act on it.
I decided to do my first Dawn Walk. The first in my life. I have walked in the mornings before ... but after breakky.
I have a busy day ahead taking The Daughter & The Grandchildren to town and a late meeting for work this eve ... so ... why not?
My body hasn't enjoyed early walks previously as I feel I need a day's fuel to avoid the dizzy staggering feeling which has assailled me. So as I found the runners, I drank water and ate a banana...
I had to smile as The Dog yawned while I attached her lead...
As I left the driveway into the darkness, right at that moment - 6am - the kookaburras broke into their happy raucous chorus up in the reserve.
I did not take it personally.
I headed off up Pacific Road this time and along Florida - the reverse direction of my usual walk...
What Bliss.
The Sounds!!
Why to so many walkers sheild their minds from the sounds around them? Surely the music they pump through their IPODs cannot be as sweet as nature's chorus around them!
The Currawongs, Kookaburras, Mopokes, Sparrows and those noisy Minors .. all in competition..
Hearing the waterfall and trying to find it's source... the near silent whirr of a bicycle's wheels which you hear a millisecond before the 'morning!' as the rider blurrs past ...

I was so busy listening, enjoying, I strode past the Kerry Packer stairs and therefore went further than planned, heading down the RockPool stairs to be spilt out at the Pool. How lucky are we to live in such a place!.
As I stood... taking in the majesty of it all .. I spied the Silver haired Octogenarian finish his laps and walk his sprightly speedo clad body to his car...

Any smugness I had evaporated. This man was decades ahead of me in his fitness routine... decades ahead in his discipline.. I had an emotional slump.

Then the sun rose. A minor bird swooped, protecting her nest from my non-tree climbing Dog and I laughed!

I gathered up The Dog and headed for home.

One day at a time.

Day 5 ... Don't Complain...

I really feel like complaining.

Maybe I have gone out too hard and fast ... not for the average person ... but for myself.
It is unsufferably annoying.
I don't mind noticing the odd ache or pain ... I will alter the exercise routine to accommodate them .. but i WANT to walk up hills.
I want to eventually head up the 400 stairs again.
But something is amiss in my lower back which is locking up the muscles in the front of my hips.
Staggering me to a halt at times.
Sigh.
I will discuss it with a physio or osteo soonish.

As I neared home today .. sweating ... in ridiculous agony ... I passed an elderly neighbour who was SHUFFLING down to the shops.
He waved and gave me a cheerful morning greeting... as he made his way onwards.

I have lowered my personal expectations. I will avoid too many hills until I work out my what's up with my body. I do not need to cover 15kms in 75mins.

i won't complain any more today.

My agony would be 'shuffling' to the shops when I am 70.

Day 4... Jane Doe...

i can't believe I have just completed a morning walk! Since it is Saturday and I would prefer to see an Oscar Nominated film at the cinema tonight & in the course of the day have to fit in the weekly shop .. I put on the damp runners, plotted a new uphll course and with The Dog in tow, set of southward towards Avalon to tackle Surf Road and continue up Bynya. Ambitious? I managed the jaunt happily - even adding an unplanned detour down Norma and along Pacific Rd after seeing two 'tidy' women walkers chatting and heading my way. They were to be avoided.

Personal bravery was involved in this walk. Many exercisers are out and about early on and avoiding death while walking around the bends was high on my agenda. On route I had to decide which side of the road to travel... do I walk on the right - face into the traffic or on the left - where vehicles swish past within an inch of your body. Or Dog.
in life, I wish for death to sneak up on me and swoop - with no warning. I have no desire to 'know' I am going to another place. Just take me by surprise. I am not one to have x-rays to see if I have pneumonia in case it shows evidence of something more sinister; I do not want blood tests for high cholesterol. Just let me drop. I am at peace with the fact those I love and cherish know how I feel about them.
If I knew I was going to die - my theory is it would ruin my remaining hours.
But - on my jaunts - I walk on the right hand side face first into the traffic and will be able to see what will wipe me out.

I also had another dilemma this morning. I like to walk without emcumberance of water bottles, phone, bags, or any form of identification.

But what if I drop dead after tackling the hill too fast?

How will my family be contacted?
I have no faith that The Dog will raise the alarm or sit faithfully beside me til help arrives. She has proved this on many moments on our treks as she darts off to chase the odd bush rat.. head under a bush for a wild rabbit ... roll blissfully in the scent of some dead creature..
But I will take this chance. The freedom of walking unencumbered is blissful.
But if per chance you DO see a medium size black dog running around the area with her lead on...
Ring the number on her tag ..
Then please look for my body.

Day 3.... Feelings ... whoa whoa ... Feeeeelings... !

I have decided not to look in the mirror for a while.
I have decided not to weigh myself.
I have decided not to look over at shop windows as I stride past, dog in tow.

All these things play against the positive motivational voices which are - at present - dominant in my head. I have a fear they won't last long, but whilst they are there I will do everything in my power to preserve them.
The first time I holidayed without mirrors was our honeymoon in Bali. I was 25 - fairly presentable - and relatively happy with physical self. In hindsight I should have been ecstatic - but like most youth - missed that moment. Anyway.. I was blissfully happy in the sun, with The Husband, riding motorbikes, patting monkeys, sleeping in the Losman, chatting to locals and wearing short shorts.
I had been talked into buying a knitted maroon triangle bikini by a fairly persistant balinese lady - and since 'new' clothes weren't high on our agenda (having put a deposit down on a piece of land and paying for a wedding) I wore it every day! Bliss. Brown. happy. new bikini. Woohoo... life doesn't get much better.
Then I came home. The sun shone... I pulled out the Bali Bikini ... put it on ... and happened to look in the mirror!!! The triangle top was HUGE compared to the pants!! I was in shock to think I had been swanning around in such miniscule pieces of fabric..

BUT...
without mirrors - I had FELT great.
Do blind people FEEL great? Is that their compensation for their plight??

I also recalled coming home euphoric after a great party in my teens... circa 1976 .. thinking about the nice guy I had been chatting to ... only to look in the mirror and see that the sweatty dancing and a few drinks had melted the mascara about and inch under my eyes... ignorance WAS bliss.

So, today it rained but I decided I was still going to do my 75mins flat chat and FEEL great - no matter how I looked. Much to The Husband's surprise I announced I would walk in the sprinkling rain ... he seemed relieved his dog walking duties have been eradicated for the past couple of days.
So off I went. It was quickly apparent that my body is NOT a machine. I went off at the sprightly speed I like to do but things began to hurt... I refuse to detail them. I find the whole body breakdown thing totally annoying and as the walk progressed and the rain fell harder I found my mind working against me. On the 45min mark... past the Kerry Packer Stairs ... I was seriously annoyed. This has happened to me before on exercise jaunts - I get SO angry! I began to feel nauseous at the 55 min mark which is totally embarrassing! The rain had drenched me and The Dog and I was cursing this ridiculous blog idea. I was also 'busting' ... when on the 65min mark.... through the rain ... came The Husband in his truck!!! To the rescue!! Too gorgeous.
I will do ten more minutes next time.

So as for FEELINGS and LOOKS? Well... I felt l crap and am pretty sure I looked it too.

Greivous errors for the second walk?

# Walking in the rain.
# not accounting for wind chill factor in wet tshirt along beach front.
# Not realising wet dogs drag more than hot dogs!
# Not having water resistant runners.
# Eating 4 thai curry puffs for lunch.
# Drinking too much water before leaving.
# Not incorporating public toilets along my designated walk.
# Not wearing waterproof mascara.




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