I have decided not to look in the mirror for a while.
I have decided not to weigh myself.
I have decided not to look over at shop windows as I stride past, dog in tow.
All these things play against the positive motivational voices which are - at present - dominant in my head. I have a fear they won't last long, but whilst they are there I will do everything in my power to preserve them.
The first time I holidayed without mirrors was our honeymoon in Bali. I was 25 - fairly presentable - and relatively happy with physical self. In hindsight I should have been ecstatic - but like most youth - missed that moment. Anyway.. I was blissfully happy in the sun, with The Husband, riding motorbikes, patting monkeys, sleeping in the Losman, chatting to locals and wearing short shorts.
I had been talked into buying a knitted maroon triangle bikini by a fairly persistant balinese lady - and since 'new' clothes weren't high on our agenda (having put a deposit down on a piece of land and paying for a wedding) I wore it every day! Bliss. Brown. happy. new bikini. Woohoo... life doesn't get much better.
Then I came home. The sun shone... I pulled out the Bali Bikini ... put it on ... and happened to look in the mirror!!! The triangle top was HUGE compared to the pants!! I was in shock to think I had been swanning around in such miniscule pieces of fabric..
BUT...
without mirrors - I had FELT great.
Do blind people FEEL great? Is that their compensation for their plight??
I also recalled coming home euphoric after a great party in my teens... circa 1976 .. thinking about the nice guy I had been chatting to ... only to look in the mirror and see that the sweatty dancing and a few drinks had melted the mascara about and inch under my eyes... ignorance WAS bliss.
So, today it rained but I decided I was still going to do my 75mins flat chat and FEEL great - no matter how I looked. Much to The Husband's surprise I announced I would walk in the sprinkling rain ... he seemed relieved his dog walking duties have been eradicated for the past couple of days.
So off I went. It was quickly apparent that my body is NOT a machine. I went off at the sprightly speed I like to do but things began to hurt... I refuse to detail them. I find the whole body breakdown thing totally annoying and as the walk progressed and the rain fell harder I found my mind working against me. On the 45min mark... past the Kerry Packer Stairs ... I was seriously annoyed. This has happened to me before on exercise jaunts - I get SO angry! I began to feel nauseous at the 55 min mark which is totally embarrassing! The rain had drenched me and The Dog and I was cursing this ridiculous blog idea. I was also 'busting' ... when on the 65min mark.... through the rain ... came The Husband in his truck!!! To the rescue!! Too gorgeous.
I will do ten more minutes next time.
So as for FEELINGS and LOOKS? Well... I felt l crap and am pretty sure I looked it too.
Greivous errors for the second walk?
# Walking in the rain.
# not accounting for wind chill factor in wet tshirt along beach front.
# Not realising wet dogs drag more than hot dogs!
# Not having water resistant runners.
# Eating 4 thai curry puffs for lunch.
# Drinking too much water before leaving.
# Not incorporating public toilets along my designated walk.
# Not wearing waterproof mascara.
#
I have decided not to weigh myself.
I have decided not to look over at shop windows as I stride past, dog in tow.
All these things play against the positive motivational voices which are - at present - dominant in my head. I have a fear they won't last long, but whilst they are there I will do everything in my power to preserve them.
The first time I holidayed without mirrors was our honeymoon in Bali. I was 25 - fairly presentable - and relatively happy with physical self. In hindsight I should have been ecstatic - but like most youth - missed that moment. Anyway.. I was blissfully happy in the sun, with The Husband, riding motorbikes, patting monkeys, sleeping in the Losman, chatting to locals and wearing short shorts.
I had been talked into buying a knitted maroon triangle bikini by a fairly persistant balinese lady - and since 'new' clothes weren't high on our agenda (having put a deposit down on a piece of land and paying for a wedding) I wore it every day! Bliss. Brown. happy. new bikini. Woohoo... life doesn't get much better.
Then I came home. The sun shone... I pulled out the Bali Bikini ... put it on ... and happened to look in the mirror!!! The triangle top was HUGE compared to the pants!! I was in shock to think I had been swanning around in such miniscule pieces of fabric..
BUT...
without mirrors - I had FELT great.
Do blind people FEEL great? Is that their compensation for their plight??
I also recalled coming home euphoric after a great party in my teens... circa 1976 .. thinking about the nice guy I had been chatting to ... only to look in the mirror and see that the sweatty dancing and a few drinks had melted the mascara about and inch under my eyes... ignorance WAS bliss.
So, today it rained but I decided I was still going to do my 75mins flat chat and FEEL great - no matter how I looked. Much to The Husband's surprise I announced I would walk in the sprinkling rain ... he seemed relieved his dog walking duties have been eradicated for the past couple of days.
So off I went. It was quickly apparent that my body is NOT a machine. I went off at the sprightly speed I like to do but things began to hurt... I refuse to detail them. I find the whole body breakdown thing totally annoying and as the walk progressed and the rain fell harder I found my mind working against me. On the 45min mark... past the Kerry Packer Stairs ... I was seriously annoyed. This has happened to me before on exercise jaunts - I get SO angry! I began to feel nauseous at the 55 min mark which is totally embarrassing! The rain had drenched me and The Dog and I was cursing this ridiculous blog idea. I was also 'busting' ... when on the 65min mark.... through the rain ... came The Husband in his truck!!! To the rescue!! Too gorgeous.
I will do ten more minutes next time.
So as for FEELINGS and LOOKS? Well... I felt l crap and am pretty sure I looked it too.
Greivous errors for the second walk?
# Walking in the rain.
# not accounting for wind chill factor in wet tshirt along beach front.
# Not realising wet dogs drag more than hot dogs!
# Not having water resistant runners.
# Eating 4 thai curry puffs for lunch.
# Drinking too much water before leaving.
# Not incorporating public toilets along my designated walk.
# Not wearing waterproof mascara.
#
Love!
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